The cold metal arms of the silver chair made my hair go straight up as I sit on it, the cold December weather was to be blamed on this. Im not alone inside the coffee shop there were a clique composed of a boy and two of his GFF’s on my right side and presumably a sweet couple of PLU’s on my back. Im definitely alone, well technically I am, but the fluffy STUFF inside the colorful package on top of the table was my lone friend there. Its already dark and getting late, though I haven’t noticed the time because im enjoyin watching people passing by in front of my table, but when stores – other than the coffee shop where I was seated- started to close their lights, a sign that it was really late, I started to get annoyed… still I was patient enough to wait and sit there, to wait for him.
I noticed that the security personnel constantly checks the people around the coffee shop, which by the way was a good thing, I noticed that in the long hours- probably 3, I havent bought anything, which maybe made me look suspicious, so I stood up, grabbed my colorful paperbag, i previously bought at the near department store, and went to the counter to order a hot chocolate drink… to my annoyance, the taste was not at all good – for I am currently working in a chocolate company, so I can really tell, anyhow, I don’t wanna waste my money I tried to drink it all up while waiting…
“15 minutes and im already there…”
This was his message the previous hour, im not complaining at all, it was me on the first place that wanted to meet him, and his place was so far away from the place we would meet so I guess I have no reason to be annoyed.
So there was I seated again on the cold metal piece under a useless umbrella’d table, the colorful paperbag on top of table, me staring at people’s faces as they walk past…
Then there he was, walking towards me, he still wears the same exact face and has the same exact body that made my smile so wide… It was so swift, all of a sudden that smile faded, he was with somebody else, he was with his ex boyfriend, they look so good together. They weren’t holding hands coz Shawn was holding a Fila Box and Andrew was just as eagerly on his side… though they were far away from me, I saw how they disappeared underground using an elevator.
Ouch, I said to my self, I hesistated to call him, I don’t wanna spoil what good chance Shawn has- to gain Andrews trust. This was the chance Shawn was waiting for to prove how much he loves Andrew and im not gonna spoil that, never, eventhough this feeling can kill me, still im Shawns "friendship", a friend who loves him dearly… I suddenly noticed that warm tears are starting to well up on my brown eyes and the clique in front of me was noticing my changed behavior so I twisted my position and secretly wiped the pain away from my eyes… still I waited for him, I already waited for hours and it wont hurt to face a friend who always wanted me to be happy… Do I have to wear a mask in front of him, is this going to be a masquerade?
The bittersweetness of the hot chocolate started to sink in to me, but still the love that I feel inside will always overwhelm that annoying feeling of repulsion and rejection. I waited for them to burst out of the elevator door at any moment, smiling and looking happy, but no Shawn or Andrew came out…
Then all of a sudden from my back Shawn was there smiling, though a little haggard, wearing his white tees and worn out jeans, greeting me A good December night. I was a lil shocked because I never expected him to come from my back…
“I could swear that I saw you going down that elevator holding a Fila shoe box and guess whos with you? Andrew!”
“Talaga?! Its impossible, I came from the MRT station, and I was late, im sorry, nakatulog ulet ako… impossible… but it’s a good sign, sana magdilang anghel ka Mink!”
Ouch
“The truth is I really saw my Ex, I mean my other Ex boyfriend on the MRT, Angelo, he still looks gorgeous of course, and he gave me this calling card, small world eh, Here take a look…”
i took a small paper from him. Another ouch.
“Kaso ayoko na makipagclose dyan, baka ma inlove ako ulet, but still I do hope the vision that you saw will come to pass, hopin hopin hopin for the best…”
The third ouch…
I invited him for a late dinner at KFC, talked almost about everything, including how I felt for him and his passive response which I could understand, I have to try to understand… While he was talking, I took time to study and memorize every lines of his face, every curve of his muscles and the dimples that accessorize his face. My spirits are lifted whenever im with him that erases all hurt and sorrows in life, I hope he knows how therapeutic his presence means to me…
As the moon rises to the blackened sky, its already time to be separated, he turned his back away from me, just for me to run after him and holler.
“Hey Shawn you forgot this…” me lifting the colorful package and handed it to him…
“Thanks, whats this...?"
I noticed that the security personnel constantly checks the people around the coffee shop, which by the way was a good thing, I noticed that in the long hours- probably 3, I havent bought anything, which maybe made me look suspicious, so I stood up, grabbed my colorful paperbag, i previously bought at the near department store, and went to the counter to order a hot chocolate drink… to my annoyance, the taste was not at all good – for I am currently working in a chocolate company, so I can really tell, anyhow, I don’t wanna waste my money I tried to drink it all up while waiting…
“15 minutes and im already there…”
This was his message the previous hour, im not complaining at all, it was me on the first place that wanted to meet him, and his place was so far away from the place we would meet so I guess I have no reason to be annoyed.
So there was I seated again on the cold metal piece under a useless umbrella’d table, the colorful paperbag on top of table, me staring at people’s faces as they walk past…
Then there he was, walking towards me, he still wears the same exact face and has the same exact body that made my smile so wide… It was so swift, all of a sudden that smile faded, he was with somebody else, he was with his ex boyfriend, they look so good together. They weren’t holding hands coz Shawn was holding a Fila Box and Andrew was just as eagerly on his side… though they were far away from me, I saw how they disappeared underground using an elevator.
Ouch, I said to my self, I hesistated to call him, I don’t wanna spoil what good chance Shawn has- to gain Andrews trust. This was the chance Shawn was waiting for to prove how much he loves Andrew and im not gonna spoil that, never, eventhough this feeling can kill me, still im Shawns "friendship", a friend who loves him dearly… I suddenly noticed that warm tears are starting to well up on my brown eyes and the clique in front of me was noticing my changed behavior so I twisted my position and secretly wiped the pain away from my eyes… still I waited for him, I already waited for hours and it wont hurt to face a friend who always wanted me to be happy… Do I have to wear a mask in front of him, is this going to be a masquerade?
The bittersweetness of the hot chocolate started to sink in to me, but still the love that I feel inside will always overwhelm that annoying feeling of repulsion and rejection. I waited for them to burst out of the elevator door at any moment, smiling and looking happy, but no Shawn or Andrew came out…
Then all of a sudden from my back Shawn was there smiling, though a little haggard, wearing his white tees and worn out jeans, greeting me A good December night. I was a lil shocked because I never expected him to come from my back…
“I could swear that I saw you going down that elevator holding a Fila shoe box and guess whos with you? Andrew!”
“Talaga?! Its impossible, I came from the MRT station, and I was late, im sorry, nakatulog ulet ako… impossible… but it’s a good sign, sana magdilang anghel ka Mink!”
Ouch
“The truth is I really saw my Ex, I mean my other Ex boyfriend on the MRT, Angelo, he still looks gorgeous of course, and he gave me this calling card, small world eh, Here take a look…”
i took a small paper from him. Another ouch.
“Kaso ayoko na makipagclose dyan, baka ma inlove ako ulet, but still I do hope the vision that you saw will come to pass, hopin hopin hopin for the best…”
The third ouch…
I invited him for a late dinner at KFC, talked almost about everything, including how I felt for him and his passive response which I could understand, I have to try to understand… While he was talking, I took time to study and memorize every lines of his face, every curve of his muscles and the dimples that accessorize his face. My spirits are lifted whenever im with him that erases all hurt and sorrows in life, I hope he knows how therapeutic his presence means to me…
As the moon rises to the blackened sky, its already time to be separated, he turned his back away from me, just for me to run after him and holler.
“Hey Shawn you forgot this…” me lifting the colorful package and handed it to him…
“Thanks, whats this...?"
"Lets just say, hes a little kindness in the night." I smiled
"you take care ok?.”
"You too... my friend."
He smiled, a little kindness in the night.
He smiled, a little kindness in the night.
He turned his back- no hugs, no kisses, no goodbyes, only déjà vu’s.
I watched as he disappeared from my sight.
How can something so right be so wrong at the same time...?
(he named the cute Teddy bear as "Mike")
---
Love, cant you see im alone
Can you give this fool a chance
A little love is all I ask
A little kindness in the night
Please don’t leave behind
Please don’t tell me love is blind…
- Ocean Deep, Cliff Richards
3 comments:
ayan na naman.. recycled emotions... allergic talaga ako sa mga ex kasi eh hehehehe
haaay naman eh.. *akap*
Huy sino yang si Shawn. Hindi ko yata kilala yan. Hehehe.
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