Ever since I came back three months ago from vacation, I was considering on quitting my job here abroad and try my luck back home. Basically, it would be a courageous move for me, since I do not have a single peso on any bank anywhere in the world and of course my wallet is just as shy as the one holding him. But in life, courage is one thing, uncertainty is another. So I would try my luck based on pure instincts, and all the while Mr. Instinct is telling me just to wait a few more moments before considering any plans, since, the future is fluid and anything can change.
I received a sign already that my stint here in the middle east is coming to an end. I clearly recall the reason why I ended up here as an OFW. It was purely chance, and of course a tremendous choice. I was happy in my previous work, if not for the generous amount of money waiting for me in the scorching desert I wouldn’t wanna be separated from my work there. I wonder what could have happened if I did not left the Philippines:
1. Instead of Lora, my classmate that I have previously recommended in the company, I would have been the supervisor of the company’s laboratory now, salary amounting a generous 20 thousand pesos with just minimal work responsibilities. (well true enough, but as I look at myself now, I gained a star in my resume, proved to myself and to my terror Boss that I am a company asset and more money to help loved ones, and when I mean help, it means HELP! So its not really bad, I ended up here)
2. My officemate, and I would have been celebrating our 3rd year together. WE had our share of intimate moments. Yeah right, because I chose to be away, we never had the chance to cross the bridge together. (I can never call him an ex for there was never “US”, but in case I stayed, for sure we’d end up together, and the rejections that I have gone through would’ve have scarred me… still the important thing here is I learned more than I deserved, I knew how much I can give, not wanting anything in return, and im so thankful for that… in time, ill heal. Joms is right, someone out there is ready to share his umbrella for me)
3. I could have enjoyed every summer in Bora, or every Christmas with loved ones or the Gimiks at bars and disco’s and reunions at Puerto Galera, Cebu and Bagiou. (me as a person would have enjoyed, while my family, still waiting to be happy… im glad their living a good life now, because of me and my brothers, their children. Sacrifice was indeed worth it.)
4. I could have spared my early twenties, surfing the net. Have EB’s all day long or just roam and invade bath houses in the metro. (luckily my innocence was preserved, I still long for that love at first sight or the ever famous “spark”)
5. And I could have enjoyed my life to its fullest and not be here, contemplating the what ifs of the previous years. (nah, but I think its time to find myself)
After all that happened and could have happened, I never regretted anything at all. I do think, instead of cruising a materialistic and selfish road, I chose a humble one. Where I learned that happiness can be obtained only thru giving, and when you are giving your all, you have attained a different level of personality that can never be found in Boracay or in Bars and discos, or in any tagayan sessions, whether it be in Cebu or Bagiou. Though there is one major drawback: I felt incomplete, I lost myself and finding it again is major hard. Dr. Magsasaka was indeed correct when he said “Love yourself before others can love you”
As I look at myself now, im strong, empty-yes, but strong enough to face every waking day. But I will never regret anything that happened to me after I have decided to leave the Philippines. There were some losses, but I gained more.
Let go and be happy. But sad to say, im not ready yet – to let go to something that makes the lives of my loved ones easy, how can I be happy if I see their future uncertain? Nevertheless I have laid the following plans, and maybe the moment the plan was put in motion and the time the visions and missions are already complete, ill say to myself: “Well Done Cowboy!”
Here’s my Conscience’s plan:
1. Since you feel a bit lonely. Just imagine that every night of your life, its only Willie Revillame and his program waiting for you in your room. Ill give you a chance to buy a new laptop since you gladly gave your old one to your brother and your game console to your other brother, your 3G phone to your parents. I do hope a new gadget will make your room a little bit homey.
2. Open a new bank account, I know you have a phobia with regards to Bank, I think its time for you to trust them again 1 more time. Don’t let your inquisitive mind spend all your hard worked money inside the cabinet.
3. Master playing your new baby: your acoustic guitar. I know you love to sing.
4. Pay all your debts, and help your loved one(s) in need.
5. Finish constructing your house, your Inay would love to see the floor and the bathroom “tiled”
I received a sign already that my stint here in the middle east is coming to an end. I clearly recall the reason why I ended up here as an OFW. It was purely chance, and of course a tremendous choice. I was happy in my previous work, if not for the generous amount of money waiting for me in the scorching desert I wouldn’t wanna be separated from my work there. I wonder what could have happened if I did not left the Philippines:
1. Instead of Lora, my classmate that I have previously recommended in the company, I would have been the supervisor of the company’s laboratory now, salary amounting a generous 20 thousand pesos with just minimal work responsibilities. (well true enough, but as I look at myself now, I gained a star in my resume, proved to myself and to my terror Boss that I am a company asset and more money to help loved ones, and when I mean help, it means HELP! So its not really bad, I ended up here)
2. My officemate, and I would have been celebrating our 3rd year together. WE had our share of intimate moments. Yeah right, because I chose to be away, we never had the chance to cross the bridge together. (I can never call him an ex for there was never “US”, but in case I stayed, for sure we’d end up together, and the rejections that I have gone through would’ve have scarred me… still the important thing here is I learned more than I deserved, I knew how much I can give, not wanting anything in return, and im so thankful for that… in time, ill heal. Joms is right, someone out there is ready to share his umbrella for me)
3. I could have enjoyed every summer in Bora, or every Christmas with loved ones or the Gimiks at bars and disco’s and reunions at Puerto Galera, Cebu and Bagiou. (me as a person would have enjoyed, while my family, still waiting to be happy… im glad their living a good life now, because of me and my brothers, their children. Sacrifice was indeed worth it.)
4. I could have spared my early twenties, surfing the net. Have EB’s all day long or just roam and invade bath houses in the metro. (luckily my innocence was preserved, I still long for that love at first sight or the ever famous “spark”)
5. And I could have enjoyed my life to its fullest and not be here, contemplating the what ifs of the previous years. (nah, but I think its time to find myself)
After all that happened and could have happened, I never regretted anything at all. I do think, instead of cruising a materialistic and selfish road, I chose a humble one. Where I learned that happiness can be obtained only thru giving, and when you are giving your all, you have attained a different level of personality that can never be found in Boracay or in Bars and discos, or in any tagayan sessions, whether it be in Cebu or Bagiou. Though there is one major drawback: I felt incomplete, I lost myself and finding it again is major hard. Dr. Magsasaka was indeed correct when he said “Love yourself before others can love you”
As I look at myself now, im strong, empty-yes, but strong enough to face every waking day. But I will never regret anything that happened to me after I have decided to leave the Philippines. There were some losses, but I gained more.
Let go and be happy. But sad to say, im not ready yet – to let go to something that makes the lives of my loved ones easy, how can I be happy if I see their future uncertain? Nevertheless I have laid the following plans, and maybe the moment the plan was put in motion and the time the visions and missions are already complete, ill say to myself: “Well Done Cowboy!”
Here’s my Conscience’s plan:
1. Since you feel a bit lonely. Just imagine that every night of your life, its only Willie Revillame and his program waiting for you in your room. Ill give you a chance to buy a new laptop since you gladly gave your old one to your brother and your game console to your other brother, your 3G phone to your parents. I do hope a new gadget will make your room a little bit homey.
2. Open a new bank account, I know you have a phobia with regards to Bank, I think its time for you to trust them again 1 more time. Don’t let your inquisitive mind spend all your hard worked money inside the cabinet.
3. Master playing your new baby: your acoustic guitar. I know you love to sing.
4. Pay all your debts, and help your loved one(s) in need.
5. Finish constructing your house, your Inay would love to see the floor and the bathroom “tiled”
6. I know your lazy, but a lil exercise will do, or else, market value will dwindle.
After two years…
7. By the end of November 2011, you already have saved 1 million pesos on your bank account. Then its time to go home you young millionaire. lols
8. After 26 years of having no relationships, 28 is a good year to start a serious long one, unless otherwise someone came along and LDR is a go.
9. I know your planning to buy a car, its not wise, you don’t know how to drive, instead invest your money on business: since lil bro is taking up computer related course, an internet café is a good start.
10. Its your dream to work in Makati? Think Again Don’t be fooled by the cute dresses and suits, First and foremost, after your stint in the middle east, try to find a job related to your course, it would be a waste on your track record if you ended up as a call center agent. Try multinational Food or drug companies or government agencies, otherwise, Medical transcriptionist or teaching is a go.
11. While working, take masteral units, preferably in UP, so that fees will not be that big. Ask Dr. Magsasaka for any suggestions
12. While working your ass and grinding your brain again on your daily activities, try to socialize, it wont hurt to have some fun.
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Sabi kasi ni Mr. Instinct, na kalimitan ay tama, “hintay hintay lang ng kaunti pang panahon para naman maabot mo ang dapat maabot, malayo pa ang lalakbayin, pero kakayanin mo yan for sure.” Sabi ko naman sa kanya, “pagod na ko eh, hanggang saan pa ba dadalhin tayo ng ating mga paa, paano natin malalaman kung narating na natin ang paroroonan? Eh tutal sinabi mo, sige na nga, basta samahan mo ako, wag mo ko iiwan”.
4 comments:
define "what is life to the fullest" ba, and to share your emo moments, me too i don't know.
i bet the end results of the choices you've made far surpasses the could-haves and the would-haves.
for that, i believe achieving the conscience's plan is not far behind.
Whatever your plans are, suportahan ka namin. :)
kapatid, bonggang-bongga ka talaga at idol kita ever. you are such an upright and selfless person... mabuhay ka! hehe
you deserve all the love in the world, charmos!
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